Let me state my biases upfront: I’m the wrong generation – if the ostensibly intended gender – for Once Upon a One More Time, an unimaginative mishmash/send-up of classic fairy tales. These rejiggered, centuries-old chestnuts, paired to a playlist drawn from Britney Spears’s oeuvre over the past quarter-century (conveniently cleared from stewardship), do not inspire in me the urge to start singing along – a reluctance not universally shared.
I’m all for the show’s thumpingly heavy-handed message: That girls can aspire to a life which extends beyond the “happily ever after” of marriage to the Prince. But do you personally know any girls so benighted that they actually need to get this news flash? If they’re young enough to buy into the age-old fantasy scripts, there’s little harm in letting them innocently, vaguely dream along for a spell. Meanwhile, you might want to shield them from this show’s single-entendre lyrics and sexualized – if eye-catchingly angular and energetic – dance routines. (Choreographers Keone & Mari Madrid, who created the off-off-Broadway charmer Beyond Babel pre-pandemic, deserve all due credit, as do the seemingly indefatigable members of the corps.)
But it’s tough to envision the show’s target audience: Millennials and Gen Zers looking to relive the lyrics and moves of their formative years? Closer in genre to a Vegas floor show, this jerry-built jukebox musical seems custom-designed to entertain a massive bachelorette party. It even promises physical stimulation, at least for those in the premium seats. The reverb at the orchestra level is set so high, you’ll get a good preview of what it feels like when the medics descend on you, shouting “Clear!”
[Read Frank Scheck’s ★★★☆☆ review here.]
The story line sketched out in John Hartmere’s book is skimpy and abecedarian. A tiny girl (who had better be equipped with earplugs, or I’m calling Child Protective Services) asks for a story, and a narrator – Adam Godley, late of The Lehman Trilogy (his mere presence lends the show a touch of class) – leaps into dictatorial director mode. He summons an assortment of young female storybook figures on standby, all eager to compete for star billing: “Show me how you want it to be … Pick me Baby one more time.” You get the gist.
Segue to “Backstage Story Land,” where a half-dozen heroines-in-waiting hang out en déshabillé, hoping to be selected. When Cinderella (Broadway first-timer Briga Heelan, skilled but rather bland) gets the summons, the action heats up for a while. Channeling Tom Jones, the seemingly age-proof Justin Guarini is hilarious as the preening Prince. A bit of a dust-up ensues, though, when the covey of female contenders realize that their dream mate is – at a minimum – six-timing them all. Oops, indeed.
As Cinderella’s bestie, Snow White, Aisha Jackson gets to soar vocally – from a raspy howl to a silky glissando – even though the audience’s rabid screams are guaranteed to drown out her money notes. Jennifer Simard, a power singer who excels at snarky, is grievously underutilized as Cinderella’s stepmother, and her progeny are given virtually nothing – no identifying quirks or vices – to play with. The script for Act 1 yields some witticisms and surprise turns, but the second half languishes, neglected.
Where does Betty Friedan come into this collection of fractured fairytales, you might wonder? Belaboredly, when “The Notorious O.F.G.” – Old Fairy Godmother, played with Jane Withers goofiness by Brooke Dillman – introduces the maidens-in-waiting to The Feminist Mystique.
Friedan’s magnum opus is not the easiest gateway tract, but no matter: it’s only cited as a shorthand signifier. What Friedan in the supposed flesh is doing in this jukebox musical is the real puzzler. Let’s hope that her estate is being duly recompensed for the use of her personage, because her message has been perverted here into mere tokenism. If you really want to honor Friedan’s legacy, consider sitting this one out and contributing instead to one of the causes she fiercely espoused, such as the ever-elusive Equal Rights Amendment promising bodily autonomy – a basic that Spears herself no doubt holds dear.
Once Upon a One More Time opened June 22, 2023, at the Marquis Theatre. Tickets and information: onemoretimemusical.com
